Forgiveness Is Not a Gift You Give Yourself

editor Monday 17 October 2016 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share by email Printer friendly

By Marjorie Ingall.. The High Holidays are a time for apologizing. But when it comes to getting forgiveness in return, that’s up to the people you’ve wronged. I spend a lot of time thinking about apologies. It’s not a Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur thing for me; my friend Susan and I publish a website called SorryWatch year-round, analyzing apologies in the news, history, literature, art, and pop culture. We’re interested in apologies precisely because they’re so hard to do well. By parsing the good ones and vivisecting the bad ones, we hope to make everyone able to say they’re sorry just a bit better. I’ve talked on Tablet’s Unorthodox podcast about what you need to do to apologize well: Explicitly say what you did wrong (don’t just say “I’m sorry for what happened” or “I’m sorry if you were upset”); use the actual words “I’m sorry” rather than “I regret” (regret is about your emotions, not the other person’s); show that you understand the consequences of your actions; tell how you will ensure that this doesn’t happen again; and make reparations if possible. Read the full story here.



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